Well, it`s important to note that sometimes we can`t find agreement with the other person. And if we can`t get along with the other person, it`s important to recognize that. It`s very simple to say, “Well, I think we just agree that we disagree.” But if we agree to disagree, we leave the disagreements as context for our next interview with that person. Create OPPORTUNITIES FOR LEARNING TOGETHER Common learning can be a way to stimulate new thinking among dialogue participants and create opportunities for dialogue beyond the old arguments. It can also reveal areas of potential agreements or cooperation that had not previously emerged. Common learning can be achieved in many ways, including: learning about the history of efforts in a thematic field, learning about relevant theory and research by specialized host speakers, conducting literary reviews on this subject, loading new research results to create a number of fundamental facts to help the group generate solutions , or organize listening sessions with people directly involved in the topic. The purpose of a difficult conversation with someone is to gain a new level of understanding or consensus about the current situation. This may mean a change in behaviour, a change in attitude or a new action. In order to achieve this and reach an agreement, certain measures must be taken to facilitate things. What I am going to suggest is that you recognize the differences. “We didn`t agree today, but I`d like us to come back tomorrow or in two weeks (whatever the case) and pick up on that. I might have changed, you changed or the situation changed. Therefore, if you do not reach an agreement, it is important to recognize it and create a space where you can come back and repeat that situation another time.
What is an agreement that both parties will buy? Surprise, combined with defensive relaxation, allows not only to listen, but also to learn. It can be said that one of the goals of creating a collaborative meeting structure is to allow people to trust themselves enough to be surprised. You can listen to new information and consider ideas for actions that emerge from the discussion between people from different experiences. The ability to learn from each other and find solutions together allows for the development of strong working relationships and agreements. John Forester, a scathing observer of participatory processes, proposes an approach based on the research of many different cases. In The Deliberative Practitioner, he argues that it takes much more than dialogue. Participants must participate in a learning process that changes the way they think about each other, not only at the personal level, but also at a level of values that guide them, as well as the community or institution they represent. The aim of the negotiations is to reach an agreement between the various parties. The aim of the dialogue is to reach a new understanding and thus to form a completely new basis for reflection and action. … Not only are we trying to reach an agreement, but we are trying to create a context that could lead to many new agreements.